I lose respect for you when you hit on me on facebook

Hey there. Yeah, you, hot stuff. I have a confession to make:

I lose respect for you when you hit on me via social media.

But really, is that even fair? I mean, in today's world, how often do you even meet people outside of your work and primary circle of friends? How often do you get the chance to chat up that cute girl you met at the Christmas luau?

But oh look, one of you just added the other as a fb friend.

Let the coquetting begin.

So yeah, maybe I'm not being fair or realistic. Tough. This is my blog. So with that, here's a few of my non-favorite facebook flirting things:

1. There's no risk. 

People do and say things online that they would never do or say in person. Why? It's less risky. Less risk = Less respect. It's that simple. I know it's old-fashioned, but as a girl, I want to believe that I'm worth more than a "hey there" on fb chat. Maybe it's like a test, the "will you do more than hit on me online?" or "will you risk rejection?" test. Not a fair test. But still.

2. There's no reality. 

The virtuality of facebook makes it easy to pretend, easy to posture, and easy to poke that cute guy you've been pining after. There's a lack of reality to online interactions; an invisible curtain between virtual life and real life.

I'm not saying that actions and reactions online don't resonate and reverberate in real life. Trust me, they do, sometimes for the worse. The "facebook feedback loop" can manifest in welcome and unwelcome ways. But for me there's always that shock--that jolt of recognition--when the virtual and the real collide.

3. Would you please get to the point already? 

There's often a lack of clear direction to online hitting-on. The worst has to be fb chat. Please don't hit on me via fb chat. In my opinion, fb chat is the LAMEST way to hit on someone you barely know EVER. If fb chat is the only place you have game, just don't.

The vague asking-me-about-my-day but never asking-me-out thing annoys me. For a guy, chatting with a girl via fb chat can be a way to fish for her interest in him without taking even the remotest risk. Lame.

4. There's no clarity. 

I've had guys ask me out on fb only to...not ask me out. What? There are just so many questions. Like, why is this guy talking to me? Is he hitting on me? Expressing mild interest? Passing the time at work? Just chatting? Wait, why is he asking me if I'm single? It's too much. These guys usually end up deleting me anyway after I make my lack of interest (un)clear. Thanks...Friend.

5. There is a double standard.

This is horribly sexist of me, but I don't think these things apply to the opposite scenario of a girl hitting on a guy via fb. That's totally cool. Unless guys hate it. Please weigh in, gentlemen.

[Caveats and disclaimers: To all the guys who've asked me out via fb, kudos and respect to you. Also, none of this applies if you're actually in a relationship with someone. Please, if you are, poke away.]

That's it. That's all I've got. So before you get your mack on on your Mac or your pickup game on on your PC (say what?), consider: are you hedging your bets by not taking a risk or being indirect in your attentions? Do you want her to be more than just your fb friend? Tread with care.

Think before you flirt.