Men, men, manly men
- There seems to be a lot of anxiety about masculinity these days.
- Witness "Last Man Standing," "How to be a Gentleman" (cancelled), and "Man Up" (cancelled).
- Compare "New Girl," "Two Broke Girls," "Whitney."
- The shows with "Man" in the title are imperative (man up!), prescriptive (how to), or direly descriptive (last man).
- See also The Art of Manliness, a blog about the "lost" art of manliness.
- See also John Eldredge and Wild at Heart.
No boys allowed
- What is the definition of a real man?
- Does a real man have a certain physical build?
- Does a real man hunt and fish?
- Does a real man ask girls out on dates?
- Does a real man provide for his family and hold down a steady job?
Answers, please
- Mark Driscoll on Marriage and Men
- Pickup Artists
- Hugo Schwyzer on "The Opposite of Man is 'Boy' not 'Woman'"
Summaries for the lazy
- "Get married. Have kids. Work hard to support your family. Buckle down, son."
- "Have sex with as many women as possible."
- "If we really are in a 'man crisis' in America, I suspect it’s rooted as much as anything else in this fundamentally mistaken belief that manhood needs to be about rejecting anything that smacks of the feminine" - Hugo Schwyzer
"Masculine Malaise"
- Men were dominant, now they are not (or not as dominant).
- They are sad about this.
- They are unable to express this sadness forthrightly or publicly.
- They resort to misogyny or masculine malaise. (See also Schmidt in "New Girl")
- They write shows with titles like "Man Up."
In which I have opinions
- I think Driscoll's vision of masculinity is kind of a drag. Plus, if your wife has to work to help support the family, you've pretty much failed. As a man.
- Machismo is not masculinity.
- I don't believe in a platonic ideal of manhood any more than I believe in a platonic ideal of womanhood.
- Women feel a good deal of pressure to look a certain way. They feel less pressure to measure up as a "real woman."
- I think fundamentalist Christianity might be the exception to the previous bullet point. Proverbs 31 anyone?
An unwritten conclusion
- Prescriptions or imperatives about being a real man or woman should be approached with skepticism.
- Certain culturally specific gender roles tend to engender passivity--or, if men would only start acting like men or women like women, I could get on with my life.
- If you need to do something, do it. Man up. Woman up. Ask him/her out. Provide for your family. It's doubtful that whatever you're supposed to do in this moment is directly related to your gender identity.
Until the last 10-15 years, boys knew how to grow into men. We had manly role models around us. We had men to admire, to look up to, to emulate. Men learn how to be men, (SURPRISE!!!) from other, usually older men.
ReplyDeleteHowever, with half of all marriages ending in divorce, many boys grow up without fathers and other strong role models to emulate. With the advent of aggressive feminism, which attempts to undermine ALL power and authority of men, in a desperate attempt to overthrow the status quo, mass media lacks many good masculine role models.
There is a very real crisis plaguing american young men, and it is a problem of identity. And there are no easy answers. But they are very really, and need to be addressed. By Men. Not women.
Woops! I forgot for a minute there that I'm a woman, not a Man, and that we are supposed to be seen and not heard. I will go back to only posting about kittens and cupcakes--you know, female stuff.
ReplyDeleteAll joshing aside, I'd be very interested to hear your conception of essential masculinity.