An Unwritten Post About Masculinity

Men, men, manly men

• There seems to be a lot of anxiety about masculinity these days. 
• Witness "Last Man Standing," "How to be a Gentleman" (cancelled), and "Man Up" (cancelled). 
• Compare "New Girl," "Two Broke Girls," "Whitney." 
• The shows with "Man" in the title are imperative (man up!), prescriptive (how to), or direly descriptive (last man). 
• See also The Art of Manliness, a blog about the "lost" art of manliness.
• See also John Eldredge and Wild at Heart. 

No boys allowed

• What is the definition of a real man? 
• Does a real man have a certain physical build? 
• Does a real man hunt and fish?
• Does a real man ask girls out on dates? 
• Does a real man provide for his family and hold down a steady job? 

Answers, please

• Mark Driscoll on Marriage and Men
• Pickup Artists
• Hugo Schwyzer on "The Opposite of Man is 'Boy' not 'Woman'"

Summaries for the lazy

• "Get married. Have kids. Work hard to support your family. Buckle down, son." 
• "Have sex with as many women as possible." 
• "If we really are in a 'man crisis' in America, I suspect it’s rooted as much as anything else in this fundamentally mistaken belief that manhood needs to be about rejecting anything that smacks of the feminine" - Hugo Schwyzer

"Masculine Malaise"

• Men were dominant, now they are not (or not as dominant). 
• They are sad about this. 
• They are unable to express this sadness forthrightly or publicly. 
• They resort to misogyny or masculine malaise. (See also Schmidt in "New Girl")
• They write shows with titles like "Man Up." 

In which I have opinions

• I think Driscoll's vision of masculinity is kind of a drag. Plus, if your wife has to work to help support the family, you've pretty much failed. As a man. 
• Machismo is not masculinity. 
• I don't believe in a platonic ideal of manhood any more than I believe in a platonic ideal of womanhood. 
• Women feel a good deal of pressure to look a certain way. They feel less pressure to measure up as a "real woman." 
• I think fundamentalist Christianity might be the exception to the previous bullet point. Proverbs 31 anyone? 

An unwritten conclusion 

• Prescriptions or imperatives about being a real man or woman should be approached with skepticism. 
• Certain culturally specific gender roles tend to engender passivity--or, if men would only start acting like men or women like women, I could get on with my life. 
• If you need to do something, do it. Man up. Woman up. Ask him/her out. Provide for your family. It's doubtful that whatever you're supposed to do in this moment is directly related to your gender identity.