Ladies, there is a crisis in the land: Cowed and oppressed by the forces of radical feminism, heterosexual men everywhere are checking out of the dating scene and checking into video games and online porn. You might have heard about this crisis, this "Sexodus." It is a terrible, terrible scourge of biblical proportions (the 11th plague) afflicting women everywhere.
But luckily I have come up with a solution:
F*** a nerd.
Find the most pathetic specimen of masculinity possible. The more he loathes himself, the better. The longer he hasn't showered, the more he needs the redemption that only your body can provide. He lives in his mom's basement and watches online porn for 12 hours a day? Perfect.
Throw away those unrealistic and cruel expectations for men manufactured by feminism and romantic comedies. You say you want a man who will treat you with respect, and yet you read "50 Shades of Grey." Twice. Clearly, you don't know what you want.
Plus, you think you're so hot. Well, let me tell you, your expectations are way, way too high. Are you Jennifer Lawrence, Taylor Swift, or Beyonce? No? Then you are fugly at best. However, your female privilege has convinced you that you are all that, two Coach purses, and 54 pairs of shoes. You think you can get a "hot guy" with a job to commit to you. Good luck with that.
But luckily I have come up with a solution:
F*** a nerd.
Find the most pathetic specimen of masculinity possible. The more he loathes himself, the better. The longer he hasn't showered, the more he needs the redemption that only your body can provide. He lives in his mom's basement and watches online porn for 12 hours a day? Perfect.
Throw away those unrealistic and cruel expectations for men manufactured by feminism and romantic comedies. You say you want a man who will treat you with respect, and yet you read "50 Shades of Grey." Twice. Clearly, you don't know what you want.
Remember: You can always be replaced with porn and video games. Porn doesn't file false harassment charges. Porn doesn't nag at you to empty the dishwasher or get a job. Porn doesn't say "No" when it means "Yes." Porn doesn't only have sex with assholes. Porn doesn't smile at you one day and put you in the "friend zone" the next. Porn doesn't fight back. Chew on that.
Ladies, if you have sex with a nerd, he might just start to overcome the years of rejection and oppression he has experienced at the hands of our female-dominated society. Sure, he knows he really deserves a supermodel and the six figure job you got just because you are female, but the consolation prize of your subpar body will have to do for now.
Really, it's for the good of humanity, the continuation of the species, and a peaceful resolution to the war on men that's being raged in America.
If we are to end this crisis, drastic measures must be taken. So here's my advice:
Stop trying to get ahead at work. Turn down that promotion. You don't need that promotion. A man needs that promotion.
Stop being good at school [a female-created institution designed to make men feel incompetent and insecure].
Stop volunteering to lead at church. You don't need that leadership position. A man needs that leadership position. If a man stops coming to church, it's your fault for taking the leadership role that was rightfully his.
Stop having expectations for the men you sleep with. It's enough that he condescended to sleep with you in the first place, when he could have been playing Minecraft.
Ladies, if you have sex with a nerd, he might just start to overcome the years of rejection and oppression he has experienced at the hands of our female-dominated society. Sure, he knows he really deserves a supermodel and the six figure job you got just because you are female, but the consolation prize of your subpar body will have to do for now.
Really, it's for the good of humanity, the continuation of the species, and a peaceful resolution to the war on men that's being raged in America.
If we are to end this crisis, drastic measures must be taken. So here's my advice:
Stop trying to get ahead at work. Turn down that promotion. You don't need that promotion. A man needs that promotion.
Stop being good at school [a female-created institution designed to make men feel incompetent and insecure].
Stop volunteering to lead at church. You don't need that leadership position. A man needs that leadership position. If a man stops coming to church, it's your fault for taking the leadership role that was rightfully his.
Stop having expectations for the men you sleep with. It's enough that he condescended to sleep with you in the first place, when he could have been playing Minecraft.
Stop complaining about sexual assault, sexual harassment, and sexism. Men are tired of hearing about it. You are only perpetuating the feminist myth that all men are rapists and pigs. Men will assume that asking you on a date will get them charged with assault.
Stop sending mixed messages. Either you want a real man who forcibly takes what he wants or you want a passive nice guy who treats you as an equal but never makes a move. You can't have both.
Women: the choice is simple. If you don't "lean back" and spread your legs, unemployed men drowning in self-pity who have given up on any semblance of personal hygiene are going to refuse to have sex with you.
Do you want to die single and alone? I didn't think so. Get out there, and start f***** as many undesirable and unattractive men as you possibly can. If you're lucky, one of them might even agree to marry you.
Stop sending mixed messages. Either you want a real man who forcibly takes what he wants or you want a passive nice guy who treats you as an equal but never makes a move. You can't have both.
Women: the choice is simple. If you don't "lean back" and spread your legs, unemployed men drowning in self-pity who have given up on any semblance of personal hygiene are going to refuse to have sex with you.
Do you want to die single and alone? I didn't think so. Get out there, and start f***** as many undesirable and unattractive men as you possibly can. If you're lucky, one of them might even agree to marry you.
But don't count on it.
Inspirations:
Lysistrata by Eurpides
Matt Walsh
Article about the "Sexodus"
Inspirations:
Lysistrata by Eurpides
Matt Walsh
Article about the "Sexodus"
Brilliant response to a terribly ignorant article & equally (somewhat forgivable, but still unacceptable) ignorant men who are sharing it on Facebook. -KM
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! That "Sexodus" article has been bothering me, but I couldn't quite put my feelings into the right words. This is great.
ReplyDeleteI love nice guys who don't make moves. It feels safe and like they like me for me. More guys should stop making moves
ReplyDeleteI do so love sarcasm from people who don't know how to comprehend the subject matter at hand. If you actually understood the articles, or those who consider themselves MGTOW (men going their own way), you'd realize that your "sarcasm" is exactly the condescension that men are tired of in today's world. Laws are skewed ridiculously in women's favor and there's no real benefit with being in relationships with women as they are defined today in most western societies. Rather than risk everything men have monetarily, emotionally, self-respect wise, they just walk away. They don't advocate hating women. They just hate the situation they are in for being heterosexual men.
ReplyDelete