Advice From the Google Trenches: Why Men Hug Women They Aren't Dating, How to Tell if a Girl is Hitting on You Through Facebook and No One Has Ever Asked Me Out

This is the fifth installment of "people using Google for advice and somehow ending up at my blog." You can find the other exciting episodes here, here, here and here.

"Why men hug women they aren't dating"

Wait. You mean there is a man out there who hugs women he isn't dating? What a perv!

The next time he goes in for a hug, stop him in his tracks and say, "Excuse me, sir. I need to know your intentions before I agree to hug you."

Just kidding.

Let me take a tentative side-hug at this: A guy (and I'm not naming names here) hugged you (also not naming names because I have no clue who you are) and you want to know if there's something behind it. Like an uncontrollable desire to date you. But maybe he's dating someone else.

A hug can mean a lot of things, like "I'm sorry that your fish died in that freak blender accident" or "Why are we hugging again?" But sometimes a hug is just a hug. Don't overthink it. Now fist-bumps on the other hand...

"If someone asks you out on a date are you a couple?"

No.

"Should you hit on a girl on facebook?"

No!

"How to tell if a girl is hitting on you through facebook"

I would say it's pretty obvious, but in case you're feeling obtuse:

1. She likes all your status updates. Stati. Whatever.
2. She often comments on your posts, if only to say LOL or OMG or OMG THAT KITTEH IS ADORBS!!!
3. She initiates fb chat with you.
4. She suddenly "likes" all of the same things you "like," developing newfound interest for Dragon Ball Z, pleated jeans and competitive bearding. And finally...
5. Your in-person conversations reveal that she is constantly facebook stalking you highly attuned to what's going on in your life.

"No one has ever asked me out" see also "No one decent asks me out" 

Just look at the syntax of that sentence: "No one has ever asked me out." You are making "no one" the grammatical subject of your dating life. Not cool.

Don't project your insecurities onto someone who doesn't even exist. Don't judge yourself by the quality of your suitors (what constitutes "decent" anyway?). You are amazing. And no one can change that, whether they ask you out or not.