Some friends and I were talking about the ways in which men objectify women--not in the sexual sense, necessarily, but in the sense of desire and projection.
A man will project onto a beautiful woman his conception of "the perfect woman." So, it's not about a mutual recognition and attraction, but about, "You are beautiful to me. Can't you see that I find you lovely?"
Perhaps this is the correlative of the "So you're saying there's a chance!" phenomenon. Hope springs eternal. But when is he pursuing a fantasy instead of a real girl? Why won't he take "no" for an answer?
When a man takes rejection personally, it's as if he's saying, "Your un-acceptance is unacceptable because it's a reflection on my worth."
But then, women objectify men too, where the "object" in question is the wedding. The groom is interchangeable. Wedding magazines are "porn." There is a TV show called "Say Yes to the Dress."
Today, I watched a court case where a young woman called the cops on her boyfriend because he wouldn't propose to her, even after she had thrown an elaborate engagement party. She was, as everyone agreed "crazy." The judge questioned her motivations: Is that love? Threatening your boyfriend so that he finally proposes?
The man is perhaps the only part of the ceremony that is not an object. The dress, the cake, the flowers. All objects.
[Note: The court case was entirely fictional. There was no claim that this was something that actually happened, but was rather written for entertainment value only.]
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