I know money is this weird, awkward thing that makes you uncomfortable (or is that just me?), but learning to ask for a fair rate will help you avoid other weird, awkward conversations in the future, like the one where you're sobbing on the phone to your mom that your coworker (who does the exact same job you do) is making escargot to your beans on toast.
Scenario #1 - Sophomore year of college, I'm applying to a summer program in LA called Act One. I apply for a summer grant through my college to pay for the program. Max awarded to each student is $5,000. I do the math and ask for $3,850. Why? Because I'm stupid, that's why. Guess how much they gave me.
Scenario #2 - I'm offered a job as a production coordinator on a music video. The producer offers me a weekly rate of $400 over the phone. My response: "Cool, that sounds great." Well, actually, that was his starting offer. But instead of negotiating, I accepted the first number I heard. Guess how much I got paid.
Moral of the story: ask for more money. In fact, go ahead and ask for more than what you tell yourself you would be happy with.
In fact, you can use the handy 30% rule that I just made up. Take a second and think about what you want. Then ask for 30% more than the number that just popped into your head.
Let's put this into practice.
Say you want a raise. You currently make $10 per hour. You feel you would be happy making $13 per hour. Ask for $17.
Say you are raising money on Kickstarter to make a short film. You estimate the budget as $5,000. Ask for $6,500.
Say you apply for a temporary gig as a dog walker and are offered a flat weekly rate of $300. Ask for $390, then let them bargain you down.
Now there's a good point--you can always accept less than what you initially ask for. However, it's difficult to roll back time and ask for more.
Reasons we don't ask for more than what we want:
1 - Avoiding disappointment
Manage your expectations. Don't let your expectations manage you. Yes, they might say no. But what are you going to do if that happens? Implode? Doubtful.
2 - Scarce resources
There's not enough to go around as it is, and you don't want to steal food off of Bob's table. But don't worry about Bob. Bob's table is Bob's table. Your table is your table and which would you rather have, slow-cooked pot roast or meat from a can?
3 - I don't deserve more
I know there's been much talk lately about millennials and something called "entitlement," but in my limited experience, women tend to sell themselves short, both in terms of ambition (give me this much money) and their own abilities (you should hire me because...).
4 - Fear of being "not nice"
Money-grubbing, demanding, difficult to work with--insert your own unsavory adjective here. There's nothing wrong with asking nicely. In fact, I recommend it. But ask. Do it.
You could even take this a step further and apply it to your personal relationships.
A guy asks you to hang out with him and his buddies, but you really want to go on a date.
"Hey [random dude's name]. I appreciate that you asked me to hang out, but I really want to hang out with someone 30% hotter than you."
Or
"Hey, I think you're great and I really want you to ask me out on a date."
Or
"Would you like to go out sometime?"
Now go -- share this blog post on your facebook wall.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
